talk to me… I know that you’re most likely not there, and that you don’t really care. But I’m going to talk to you anyways.

I turn 18 this Sunday. I’m not very excited about it. I know I should be - everyone else gets excited, becomming of age and all that ( I live in Australia ).

There’s something that is nagging me though. I’m almost 18, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never experienced a kiss, even a hold. I wish I could say I don’t care, that I know the right guy will come along eventually, it’ll just be when I least expect it. But I do care. And I find that hard to believe these days.

There’s got to be something wrong with me. I know people say there isn’t, but there has to be. I’m not pretty enough, or I’m too fat, or I have a shitty personality. I don’t know. But there’s got to be something- why else would I be alone?

It isn’t passion or sex I crave. All I want is  comfort with another person. Just to be able to lie side by side together, holding each other, drifting off to sleep together. That’s all. And so recently I’ve begun to simply pretend to myself that I have someone, lying there next to me. I wish and hope and imagine so much that I really can almost feel it. Almost.

I am so pathetic for doing so. But nobody appears to want me.

i do care.  my heart sank when i read what you wrote.  you are not pathetic at all.

please forgive me, i have to run to work right now but i will talk to you more when i get home.

Do you have a name that i can call you?  it doesn’t have to be your real name, it’s just nice to have a name…

1. rubyr reblogged this from heroines and added:

   My best friend’s birthday is today too. Happy birthday! If it makes you feel better I’ve never been kissed by a boy...

2. heroines reblogged this from heroines and added:

   thank you for talking...about. i was trying...what to say to...

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