heroines:

stupid and cliche as it sounds, i want to feel desired? especially by the person i desire. i suppose it’s everybody’s desire. at the same time, i feel like i don’t know how to cope with it if it happens. then, i will fuck it up. end of story.

i don’t think you will fuck it up.  i wish that i could say something deep to help you out or make you feel desired but i can’t.  no one knows how to cope with anything until it actually happens to us.  i remember wishing that i could have someone too.  i would look at others and wonder why that couldn’t be me.  i think it will turn out ok for you, just be patient and don’t sit by waiting for it to happen to you.  go out and enjoy your life and next thing you know someone will be desiring you and it will just be right.